Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
