shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
