dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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