coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
