at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
