The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
YAS. BRING CRAB.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
