Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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