drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
