I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
