took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
