My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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