Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
