so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
