the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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