Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
