Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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