If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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