i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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