Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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