You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
