I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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