So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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