Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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