I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My ass is underappreciated
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
