So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
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