Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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