Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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