Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry BIGDIVER54 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed

Fav 7 1970 820
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.

(716): View more from New York

i dont this its possible to queef on command.

Fav 90 1218 3141
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator

Fav 42 1103 7541
share tweet
(713): View more from Texas

I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"

Fav 14 2676 1672
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.

Fav 4 2506 1606
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow

Fav 10 4392 1442
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.

Fav 5 2558 1666
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(954): View more from Florida

He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.

Fav 1 294 171
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.

Fav 0 76 2
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT