there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
