sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How does it feel to date your dad?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize