That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
