I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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