I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
