Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
