Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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