just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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