so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Randomize