Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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