To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
