I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
