summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
