I CAN MOONWALK!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
