Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
