can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
