He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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