the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
