u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
