I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
