I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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