He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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