hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
