Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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