Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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