Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I've blown a few things in my day
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
