and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize