the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My brain says no but my pants say off.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
