so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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