uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
