I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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