i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize