fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
