i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
