You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Let's get the cat blown out
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
