So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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