just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
