At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
