are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
